Picky Pagan Movie Review: The Dark Knight Rises

First off, I must admit that I am a HUGE fan of the Batman movie franchise. Excluding the cheesy (albeit somewhat entertaining) Adam West versions, I can say that the Batman movies and Batman: The Animated Series had a profound effect on my life and my judgement of superhero films. This being said, the only way that I can describe the latest installment is: disappointing. My primary qualm with this movie was the depressing plotline, that plays out twice in the movie. It involves a weak and self absorbed batman going out and getting his ass kicked, back broken and close friends and family leaving him. Batman is a detective, yet throughout this movie, he employs almost zero intelligence and deductive reasoning. Everything is handed to him. Anne Hathaway's performance as Catwoman was atrocious. If anyone had any doubt to her acting ability, this movie will confirm everything. She takes on a stereotypical, stunt double, green screen and CGI-enhanced action movie heroine role and with all of today's modern technology, and even still she manages to fumble through simplistic acrobatics and fight scenes. Bottom line she is not convincing physically or emotionally. She has a great smile, but that is about it. Another one of my peeves in the movie is the vocal effect on Bane's voice. Extreme filters coupled with an abstract British-styled accent make about 15% of his dialogue hard to understand and about 5% completely unintelligible. One small light in the abyss of disappointment is Joseph Gordon-Levitt's performance. All I can say is he has come a long way since Third Rock from the Sun. Michael Caine and Gary Oldman will perform in any role you put them in, so no complaint there. However, the Alfred story arch is  somewhat lame and uncharacteristic of the Alfred archetype, but that is Christopher Nolan and the writer's fault, not Mr. Caine's. (I don't live in a monarchy therefor I don't acknowledge another country's feudal elite structure, so don't give me guff for not calling him "Sir".)

Even with all of my qualms, I still somewhat enjoyed this movie on the principle that it is Batman. It is also the conclusion to the series involving Christian Bale as Batman. It is a disappointing conclusion, but I still would recommend watching it to gain closure. 

Rating: 2 out of 5 Broomsticks


Might have made the move a little better, just saying...

The Picky Pagan #2: Yangtze Restaurant in Ontario, CA

I have recently moved to Ontario. The day of the move, my parents came to help me. After a long day of moving my existence in and out of the U-Haul style truck, my parents and I were famished. We asked my new land lady, who has been a long-term resident of Ontario, where we could find a good Chinese restaurant (this is the one style of non steak house restaurant that my parents and I consistently agree on). My land lady recommended Yangtze. She related to us that she had been patronizing this establishment for years and it was her family's favorite. With the local recommendation, and the location being a stone's throw away, we felt like we had we were presented with a good choice.

We arrived at about 8:30 p.m. It was a Friday evening and the parking lot/dining room was bare. Red flags started to shoot up in my brain immediately. They had an old cigarette vending machine (not operating) in the rear entrance, which gave the place a pretty nostalgic feeling. The decor seemed as though as it had been there since the 1920s, which I personally like. However, the vinyl on the booth was cracking which was kind of annoying. Our waitress visited us quickly. Seeing as how there was only one other table that was filled, the quick service was expected. Our waitress was getting on in years and told my parents she had been working there for decades. I ordered wonton soup as an appetizer, and my parents had no appetizers. The broth was definitely out of a can, and I am pretty sure the wontons had been bought out or made a week prior and frozen. It did not taste bad, just I could have made the same dish at home for cheaper. My family usually orders family style for entrees when it comes to Chinese. We ordered Kung Pao Beef, Chicken Lo Mein and Broccoli Beef. A pretty standard order for any Americans at a Chinese restaurant. I flirted with the idea of ordering a whole duck or some sea food, but I decided to try the staples and come back for the dangerous stuff another day if everything went okay. Unfortunately it did not. The food came in about 5 minutes, which told me it was microwaved or had been under a heat lamp since the afternoon. The Kung Pao Beef lacked any semblance of spice and tasted a little off. The Lo Mein was pretty slimy and the noodles were overly soggy. The only tolerable dish was the Broccoli Beef and this was due the fact that I love broccoli, frozen or fresh. I have never been one to really send stuff back unless it is undercooked or burnt, so I asked the waitress if they had some Sriracha or any type of chili sauce, she happily obliged and brought a crusty glass cup from the kitchen containing chili oil. I immediately realized why my Kung Pao Beef was off. The chili oil was rancid! I resigned to just finishing my steamed rice and letting my parents eat whatever they wanted to stomach. The one redeeming quality was the owner. He is the son of the man who opened the restaurant in the 1950s. He was extremely friendly and made a sincere effort to talk about the history of the place and converse with my parents, who are of the same age (early 60s), about his travels and their travels. About 15 minutes in to the conversation, after my parents had finished eating, I got an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I proceeded to rush the conversation and my parents out the door. When I we got back to my new residence, my parents and I said our good-byes, and I rushed to the bathroom.

Overall it is a shame that such a historic and unique place should be run so poorly. I can do nothing but give Yangtze a

.5 broomsticks out of 5.


The .5 is accredited due to the owner's friendliness.

The Picky Pagan #1: Log Cabin in Big Bear

     After camping in the San Bernadino mountains this last weekend, I decided to go in to the city of Big Bear and check out some artisan shops and some antique stores (my time-wasting guilty pleasure). I had been out alone all weekend and had not really talked to anyone for the past couple days, seeing as how I was out in the wilderness, so I was in a pseudo-zen state when I arrived in the mountain town. I had been eating granola and dried fruit while camping, so I was definitely ready for a quality warm meal. It was ten in the morning on a Saturday, so I assumed that the breakfast joints would be at their best. I am not too familiar with the establishments in Big Bear, so in the best interest of making a good choice, I decided to drive around and check out my options. On the approach to downtown, I passed by a place called "Log Cabin" with a sign out front that read "Best Breakfast in Big Bear". I considered it slightly and drove on. As I passed other establishments and considered them, that claim that the sign made just started to work its way back in to my mind. I cruised around town, some more until I said out loud to myself, " Best in town, we'll see about that!" and I headed over without even really thinking about it.

     As I walked in through the front door I saw a sign that indicated for guests to wait for their waitress to seat them, so I consequently stood for about 5 minutes until I could get the attention of a waitress. I let her know that I was the only person in my party, and she directed me to sit at a small table were the sun would have been in my eyes, so I decided to sit at the larger booth next to it. Looking around, I noticed that the restaurant was about half full, which I thought was a little odd for mid Saturday morning if you have the "Best Breakfast in Town". My waitress brought me a well used menu and asked if I would like anything to drink. I ordered unsweetened iced tea. As I perused the menu, I noticed that they had a regular section and a German section. Intrigued, I order three different types of sausage, kartoffelpuffer (German potato pancakes) and sour kraut. The waitress took my order with no real interest, just kind of like I was another chore in her day to take care of. I did not take my cell phone in with me as it had been in my trunk the whole weekend, so I do not really know how long it took for my order to arrive, but seeing as how there was a family with a bunch of screaming toddlers sitting in the middle of the dining area, I started to get restless. I started noticing that most of the tablecloths had crumbs on them and the floor looked like it had not been vacuumed for a week. I spied a door to the back that had a patio that I had not recognized until then, so I jumped at the chance to move outside. When the food came I could tell that the German sausages had been store-bought but at least they were well cooked. The sour kraut was good, but inconsequential. The kartoffelpuffer tasted great (although I am no expert in German cuisine). It was all served with a small cup of sour cream and a small cup of what seemed to be Mott's applesauce. I do not like sour cream so that was left behind. The meal was, overall, satisfying but a little greasy. The meal was priced at about 12 dollars and my iced tea was about 2 so I feel it was a bit overpriced for store-bought sausage and applesauce. The waitress suddenly got nicer towards the end of my meal, obviously fishing for a tip. She was pretty attentive and refilled my ice tea a lot so I tipped her 15%. I left full, but on my way out I scowled at that sign.

The rundown: decor was old and dusty, cleanliness was barely tolerable, food was edible, service was acceptable, the prices sucked.

Rating: 2 broomsticks out of 5